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©2018 by Pat Ward Counseling.

3 Reasons Every Couple Needs Pre-Marital Counseling



With all the effort that goes into planning your wedding and merging your lives together, it’s easy to overlook the one thing that can determine what your life will be like the day AFTER the honeymoon ends.

Here are 3 vital needs that a solid pre-marital counseling course can address BEFORE you say ‘I Do’:

Every couple needs CLARITY.

Almost everyone knows what a wedding looks like, but unfortunately, not everyone knows what a healthy marriage looks like. Even for those who have seen it up close, it may not be immediately clear how to get from the chapel to the happily ever after with as few bumps and bruises as possible.

Pre-marital counseling brings clarity to the elusive elements of lifelong love. A well-rounded course will teach you essential communication skills, effective money management, practical grace and trust, and how to cultivate a joy-filled sex life. Every couple wants those things to be a part of their marriage, but very few really know how to plan for them.

Every couple needs a CHECK UP

Time and again, I have seen pre-marital counseling offer brides and grooms one last full stop to take stock of their emotional health and the parts of their own story they are trying to understand BEFORE they invite someone they are in love with into them.


The process helps spouses-to-be address old wounds, walls, and unexpressed expectations that can make a mess later on. It also helps us learn more about ourselves, our personality types, our communication style, and our default response to conflict. All of those things are major factors in the marriages we are building and, trust me, they are much easier to address when the pressure is low, the motivation is high, and the wheels are still on.

Every couple needs CONFIDENCE

I wish there was a course out there that could fully trouble-proof a marriage. Unfortunately, it doesn’t exist because marriages don’t happen in a vacuum. They are created and then driven off the lot, sent out into a complicated world full of decisions, distractions, and, sometimes, pain.

One other thing that couples gain through pre-marital counseling is confidence on several different levels. When troubles come, they can say to each other, “I know we have what it takes to make it through this.” Through the collaboration, negotiation, healing, and (sometimes) the conflict in pre-marital counseling, couples build a strong foundation and see how easy it is to stand upon it.

BONUS: Every couple needs WISE COUNSEL

In the season leading up to a wedding, couples dance really closely together. No matter how perfect the engagement picture is on Instagram, there’s likely still work to be done on the relationship. It’s often more obvious to an outsider than to the happy couple.

Pre-marital counseling puts someone in your corner who has their eyes on you. Not only is it someone who can identify troubling patterns and potential misalignments, but they are also eager and able to help. Plus, pre-marital counseling as a part of a counseling practice ensures that your privacy is protected and that there’s a safe place to come back to down the line if storm clouds start to gather.

Have you seen some of these needs arise as your dating relationship progresses toward its destination? Do you know a couple that’s struggling with some of these issues in their blind spot? Do you want more than just a ‘good’ marriage?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then it may be time to look into pre-marital counseling. Many local churches offer options for their members but I’ve got a suggestion as well…

Starting Well is a pre-marital counseling course designed to meet these needs and more. I’ve taken over 60 couples through the course over the last 10 years and I’d love the opportunity to work with you as you plan your happily ever after!

Learn more at StartingWell.info

#marriage #engagement #counseling #wedding